Who’s “Fascinating” to Barbara Walters This Year?
The mummified remains of Barbara Walters had themselves propped up on her daily chatfest The View yesterday to announce just who was fascinating enough to make this year’s list of 10 Most Fascinating People .
The caveats for being considered for the list, the leathery Walters carrion burbled, is that they be “very much in the news” and not “criminals.” So much for Henry Kissinger then!
Making the list is New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, not just because his name sounds like a holiday carol but presumably because he “reached across the aisle” and responded favorably to President Barack Obama’s offer of government aid in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, despite outcry in some Republican quarters that he should have — well, what exactly? Refused the aid? That would have been fascinating, all right, but probably not in the way that the desalinated Walters likes.
Also making the cut is One Direction, who are actually five people but if you’re going to get wise then you can just find your own fascinating people, laddybucks. Ben Affleck, who certainly does sport some fascinating hair in Argo , is on the list, as is Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James, who will reveal that her initials stand for “Everybody Loves.”
Seth MacFarlane, who proved that teddy bears could talk dirty in the movie Ted , will be featured, before we even know just how fascinating a job he may do as the Oscars host in February. Then there’s Hillary Clinton, who again may be more fascinating for what she does in the near future than currently. Rounding it out is Olympics gymnast Gabby Douglas, of whom I shall make no wisecrack because she’s Gabby Douglas, dammit.
The other three names will not be revealed until the show airs on Dec. 12 … so start your betting pools now! I’ll take Seu Jorge, Gary Mule Deer and the guy who manages the Thai restaurant down the road. I don’t know his name, but by Gad sir! I find him fascinating.
Chances are that the # 1 person on the list of Walters’ dessicated corpus delicti will be Obama. A word of warning to anyone pleased by that prospect: Topping last year’s list was Steve Jobs … and we all know how that turned out.