Russian Krokodil Zombie Drug Spreads to Europe
Fox News and The Independent Reader recently announced that a recreational drug in Russia are on the verge of creating a widespread epidemic throughout Russia and Europe. With the international economic downfall and the cost of recreational drugs being too high, the Russians turned to a drug called krokodil (crocodile) to replace their need for heroin. Even as their skin begins to rot off like the skin of a real zombie, at a tenth of the price and three times more potent than their beloved heroin and eight to ten times more potent than morphine, it’s a no-brainer for the desperate and penniless Russians.
Krokodil, medically known as desomorphine, has taken the idea of a ‘zombie apocalypse’ and turned it into a reality in Russia, except that the people aren’t eating each other, like the actions that K2 and bath salts unleashed, this drug eats it’s user all on its own. It has been named after our beloved crocodiles because much like our reptilian friends the user’s skin begins to turn scaly and green just like them: before it of course falls off. The drug is compiled of codeine based pills and other household products such as paint thinner and gasoline. Medical officials aren’t sure why the drug eats the flesh of the users, but I’m going to guess that it has to do with two of the most special ‘flesh eating’ ingredients in the drug which are hydrochloric acid and red phosphorus. For those who aren’t aware of what these products do, they are used to dissolve dirt and grime in our bathrooms and kitchens, which I would guess that when they’re introduced into the human body they, in turn, dissolve the fleshy tissue and skin of the person who injects it. Yummy! Just like heroin, krokodil is injected directly into the vein. If the vein is missed it immediately creates an abscess under the skin, which officials think is the cause of the ‘flesh eating.’ Since users get high so many times in a day they assume that they have to miss the vein multiple times. Jury’s still out on the cause, but I think everyone agrees that this is some real nasty shit.
Russian officials have reported that in the past three years they have taken over 65 billion doses off their streets but can only fathom how many billions are still out there. The drug has yet to make it to the U.S. (thank fucking god) but DEA spokesman Rusty Payne told FoxNews.com that “we would not be surprised when that day comes.”
Several of the addicts report that it feels like “taking poison”, that they “prefer heroin”, but krokodil is “much cheaper and easier to find” so you continue taking it, “until you die.” (um….yea….)
So it seems that once again the Russians are rapidly continuing to outdo the world in self inflicted death. I’m not sure why someone wants to inject a flesh eating disease into their body, but two thumbs up to Russia for showing us what a real zombie looks like.